Being Julia











{January 17, 2012}   Never a truer word . . .
Rooney Mara and Daniel Craig in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Rooney Mara and Daniel Craig in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

In boy mode I’m a HUGE cinema fan and it’s long been a dream to watch a movie as Julia. Well, last week I finally made it come true.

I’d spent much of the day out (as it were) and about made up and en femme in my current “look” – four-inch, black stiletto boots from Dune (how much?!) , black leggings, a peach and black Miss Selfridge dress (how short?!), dark brown wig and my utterly gorgeous New Look purple coat with its extravagant faux fur collar.

The first part of the day (and I may come back to this in more detail at a later date) was taken up visiting the TG support group I’ve discovered in Wolverhampton and going for my first meal out ever as Julia with one of the girls from there. Thanks Lindsay, I really enjoyed it. Amazing how confident I felt.

Then it was back to the jewellery shop that I bought a pair of clip-on earrings from two years ago to re-stock on those (two pairs this time). Not sure if it’s because I look such a fright but the shop manager, Lea, recognised me from last time and we had quite a chat.

I filled her in on the full sorry story of my last couple of years, Dee cheating on me and blaming the cross-dressing (an excuse?), the heartbreak of the split, and then the ultimate betrayal when she told her lover (a former mutual friend) of my “big secret” . . . and him then taunting me about it on Facebook. Oh, and did I mention that I caught her out texting him on a meal out on my birthday? You couldn’t make it up . . .

Anyway, with earrings purchased I decided it was now or never with my movie plan. I’ve already seen the Swedish trilogy of the Girl With The Dragon Tattoo films and now wanted to check out David Fincher’s English-language remake.

So it was off down the M6 to the Showcase cinema at Walsall, arriving at 4pm, which is when the house lights were due to go down . . . all part of my plan to slip into the screening room under cover of darkness. I parked up as near as I could to the entrance and made my way up the steps to the doors. There was a bloke outside having a fag and I just strode past, blurring my vision and deliberately not making eye contact.

The plan was to get to the ticket desk as quickly as possible, make a quick purchase, keep a low profile and head into the screening room ASAP.

That didn’t quite work out . . .

There was a young man on the ticket desk who informed me that they were having problems  with power cuts and did I still want to take the risk and go ahead. After driving all that way I said ‘Yes’.

Then the next problem. The earlier power cuts had knocked out the debit card machine, and my card was all I had on me. I had to try to explain this in a “Julia voice”. Mmmm, I’ll reserve judgement on that . . . I think I need a voice coach.

Anyway, despite my hope to have a low profile I cringed when I heard him say: “I’ll call the duty manager over.” Oh no . . .

A few minutes later the manager arrived, a young woman in her twenties, who took one look at me and didn’t bat an eyelid (neither had the young man, actually). To add to the pressure, a queue was beginning to build behind me (although I hopefully do ‘pass’ from behind!).

Anyway, after unsuccessfully trying to get things rebooted she then used one word that we T-girls who have no idea whether we ever pass or not long to hear.

“Let her in on my complimentary card,” she said.

Now normally I’d have gone “Yippee, a free film!” But what thrilled me so much more was the use of the word “HER”, said utterly without any edge or side or irony.

So, thanking her profusely, I grabbed my ticket and settled down to watch the film for  the next two hours or so. Thoroughly enjoyed it too, although the rape scene is very upsetting.

Now I’d timed this session when i knew the cinema would be quiet but I was also aware that coming aout at around 6.30pm, there would be a few more people around. So it proved to be, as I walked back to the foyer. I figured the best thing to do was just to look as confident as possible, so instead of scurrying along with my head down, I “glided”, chin up towards the exit. Checking out of the corner of my eyes, I honestly didn’t notice any reaction at all from anyone there. That’s a confidence booster.

After that it was time to return home and back into the house under cover of darkness without any of the neighbours seeing me (I’d been brave/foolish enough to leave the house in full Julia mode in daylight and not been spotted. A gamble but I was feeling kinda reckless/confident . . .  a whole new feeling).

Anyway, there is a punchline to this tale.

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A visual one.

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And one that definitely deserves the description “you couldn’t make it up”.

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Here’s my cinema ticket . . .

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Keep scrolling . . .

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It’s worth it!

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Almost there . . .

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😉

Julia xx



{January 9, 2012}   The Big Sleep

Julia is back! Yes, after two years of hibernation, I’m back in action again. And loving it!

I’ll fill you in on the gruesome details at some future point but, in short, I’ve just been through the most hellish couple of years after Dee decided not to love me anymore, cheat on me, blame it on the cross-dressing and . . . tell her new lover who then promptly taunted me on Facebook. Bastards! (I really must update the ‘About Julia’ page, somewhat out of date now, singing the praises of Dee. Oh well, her loss.)

I’m finally coming out of the fog of grief now and I think that’s the reason I can go back to being me (us) again.

Also because I’ve had some amazing support from a number of close friends who I’ve outed myself to. You know who you are, guys and gals . . . thanks so much.

That’s it for now. But more . . . much more . . . to follow. I’ve been a very busy girl. The sales have been hit. Hard. And I’ve been out and about again at long, long last.

Till next time,

Julia x



et cetera