7.47am:

Here I am, sat at the computer before 8am and I’m already half Julia – party dress, ankle boots and lippy. Dee has gone to work but I’ve got the day off and the absolute need to be Julia for as much of the day as possible. It probably won’t include a trip out today, instead I’m largely giving the day over to make-up experimentation and maybe a photo or two – a chance to use the camera tripod I got for Christmas.

I did something brave/stupid the other day (depending on your point of view). I was on an errand at the shops and on the spur of the moment approached a woman on a cosmetics counter to ask something I’ve wanted to know for ages: “Excuse me, can I ask you a discreet question. I’d like some foundation which will to give myself beard shadow cover, what would you recommend?” Bless her, she didn’t do a double take or anything, just spent a couple of minutes finding my perfect colour and product (a Max Factor panstick in Nouveau Beige). I got some new lipstick too, much more subtle and natural looking than I often use.

Julia is so strong and insistent at the moment that I’ve been spending hours looking at make-up advice online. I’m beginning to realise that I’ve made false economies so far – buying cheapo “value” products because I felt I couldn’t justify buying top of the range make-up just to ‘drag it up’. But now I’m beginning to realise that if I do want trips out as Julia, I need to invest in the best camouflage! Hence, I’ll be heading off to town soon (en drab) to pick up a few choice goodies, including false eyelashes (I will get the hang of them!) and a lip brush and eyeshadow brush. A new year treat for Julia.

First though. I’ve got some false nails to paint. Then it’s back into bloke mode and off to the shops. More later . . .

8.05am:

Got to share this. I’ve just discovered a hitherto undreamed of advantage to wearing 4″ heels . . . I can reach to get the loft ladder down without having to stand on a chair!

8.57am:

Those nails took ages to do (putting the cute into cuticle). I wanted to be at the shops by now. Ho hum. Mind you, I did paint my (real) toenails too . . . I just can’t stop staring at them!

Dee’s just informed me that she’ll probably be able to leave work early today. That’s great, but this is gonna turn into a rush now. Right  . . . off to the shops.

12.55:

Things haven’t gone quite to plan. Bought some make-up brushes, got back and spent an hour or so transforming myself, with reasonable results. So I thought I’d take some pix downstairs (with the curtains shut). But got seriously spooked when a neighbour knocked insistenlty on the door . . . twice. That and the fact that the pix looked poor (well, I did) have rather put a dampener on things. Everything’s packed away now anyway.

But I can’t quite get rid of all the toenail polish. And the house stinks of polish remover (I’ve had to open all the windows). And Dee will be setting off home soon. Oh ‘eck . . .

Oh, this is helpful . . . not!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7797269.stm

How dare a man in a purple dress (as Pete Townshend says), tell me what to wear.

And just imagine if my (very Catholic) mother found out about Julia . . .

Can’t believe it’s been nearly three months since my last post here. I’ve just read that one (‘Hot flushes, mixed feelings‘) over and can’t help reflecting on the rather sombre note it ended on.

First the good news – I’ve not thrown anything away. In fact I spent a wonderful couple of hours last night, alone in the house working on the computer and wearing my black, sleeveless, sparkly party dress and black, spiky ankle boots. No make-up. No wig. It felt utterly natural and wonderful.

Just what I needed – it filled me with an almost spiritual calm.

It’s been a strange few months though. No trips out at all and hardly any dressing up until a little over a week ago.

And what sparked it off was rather comical. Literally.

I’m talking about Peter Kay’s turn as Geraldine McQueen, the winner of his spoof programme Britain’s Got The Pop Factor (etc etc etc).

Now of course this was all played for laughs, but I couldn’t help but reflect on two things:

1. He looked very comfortable indeed in his variety of dresses.
2. His make-up was absolutely perfect.

And I think it was this second thought that got me back in heels again. In fact, it got me out to the shops to buy a new pair. Well, two actually . . . those ankle boots and a pair of sturdy but rather sexy sandals that might be just the job for another outdoor adventure. I also got a size 14 faux-leather mini-skirt from Peacocks but that was insanely too big and just fell off me.

Anyway, back to Peter Kay/Geraldine McQueen’s make-up . . . The lips were full and natural looking (I’ve said before that mine are unfortunately very thin) and the eyes were made up to perfection. I wish so much that I could get that right, but it’s still a steep learning curve.

It’s got me thinking seriously about doing one of those dress-up sessions where a discreet and understanding expert makes you look as wonderful as possible (in the circumstances) so you can take some photos to prove just how gorgeous you are/were.  Maybe, just maybe . . .

Then something happened the other day which could really have screwed things up. Dee (who knows about my other side but has never experienced it) was looking for something in the loft and found all my Julia clothes and make-up. A good job I told her about this a couple of years ago or else all hell would just have broken loose.

But she still found it difficult. We have hardly talked about this all year (I had hoped we might make a breakthrough with this) and I’ve had to skulk around with it all silently.

Dee’s loft discovery had a strange effect, though. At first I clammed up, didn’t want to talk about it, was still rather embarrassed.

But I somehow feel “off the hook” , now she’s seen it all.

I clambered up into the loft myself yesterday and saw that she’s been through everything in my ‘dressing up box’, the dresses, skirts, lingerie, boots, shoes, make-up, wigs etc.

Well, at least she know that Julia is a stylish dresser rather than a trashy one! 

Can I just take this chance to say thank you to all of you who have made encouraging comments on this blog. It has been a great help to know that I am not alone. It’s made me seriously think about visiting a TV/TS support group one evening, just to share further what this is all like and to try to learn a little more about myself. I guess that’s the journey most of us girls are on.

Take care all of you and have a wonderful Christmas.

See you on the other side . . .  and maybe out there . . .  

Julia P

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